there was an incident

okay let me rephrase that - "I" had an incident. of all places, AT THE ZOO. First of all, this may not be funny to anyone other than myself but I feel the need to share it. A mini therapy session if you will.

Anywhos, emma pants loves the zoo. I mean homegirl LOOOOVES it and would go everyday if given the chance. We haven't been in awhile since she goes to school everyday and we completely missed the "boo at the zoo" this year which I was feeling guilty about for unknown reasons. So we went the day after halloween. At 4:00 in the afternoon and were pretty much the ONLY ones there. I kid you not. which was a little spooky just in itself. not to mention that they still had the halloween decorations on display which just added to the spookiness:


And little Miss Independent also wanted to push the stroller which is fine by me. I'm over the stroller. lucy and kate are over the stroller. however sometimes it is just our only option.


okay back to the incident. it happened here.


I really don't know what emma's deal with the snake house is but she really loves it. Me, not so much. Anywhos, I asked her to pick three animals that she really wanted to see because we only had about 40 minutes until the zoo closed. She chose...the snakes, the lions and the orange tiger but NOT the white one. Got it. First up, the snake house. I somewhat notice going in a sign that reads, "STOP. Not recommended for children 7 years and younger." Hmmm. But I assure myself, "SURELY, they have already taken down the scary things though. SURELY." Umm..yeah not so much.


{I am now including a picture of a gray squirel with a bushy tail because it makes me think of the song that emma sings and puts me in a happy place and I need to be in a happy place when I recount what happened}

so we walk in and it is HOT. HOTTER than HOT. HOT. And if I'm HOT that means that the place is on FIRE because I'm never hot. And there are no overhead lights on. Lovely. So there we ALL are {emma pushing the stroller} in a dimly lit, abandoned, HOT, SNAKE HOUSE. So I ain't going lie. I start to panic. Like really panic. Thoughts start going through my head like you wouldn't believe and I am feeling like I can't breath. And then I turn around and see it. YA'LL. That monstrous big snake {the anaconda don't won't none} is in his little place with DEAD MICE SCATTERED ALL AROUND. I SCREAM AS LOUD AS YOU CAN IMAGINE. I then {being the responsible parent that I am and always in control of my emotions} shout "OH MY GOSH, OH MY GOSH, OH MY GOSH, WE HAVE GOT TO GET THE HECK OUTTA HERE}. the next part is fuzzy but I remember emma saying over and over, "but I can't see the snakes mama, where is the snake in here, mama" and I think I was just screaming "go, go, GOOOOOO" pushing her, pushing the stroller. whatever. we GOT the heck outta there in record time. And then my precious little bean asked, "mama why did we have to leave?" AND I SAY, "because mama got a little scared that we were going to be locked in the snake house all night since the zoo is about to close." WHAT THE?? I mean the brain wasn't working. Thankfully she hasn't asked about the possibility of being LOCKED in the snake house. Good grief.


so then we walk around for a few minutes and run into the only other people visiting the zoo. which just happens to be a set of two-year-old IDENTICAL TWIN GIRLS. I couldn't make this stuff up if I tried. At that moment, I was like, "this has got to be the twilight zone" what the hizzy is happening??

{another happy place picture}


and then......WHAT A RELIEF. we actually ran into a familiar face!!


ya'll I was so freaked out at that moment that I almost went and hugged the big guy too.


and then the twilight zone kicked in again and emma climbed in the stroller and lucy started pushing:


and then kate started pushing emma. something was just backwards that day.


I now know two things about the Birmingham Zoo.

ONE: Even though I have come to the conclusion that the mice had to be fake because wouldn't the snake have already eaten them if they were not. okay, never mind. don't answer that. But I will never, ever, never, ever, NEVER go into the snake house again. No joke.

TWO: One of my bestest friends in the whole world now works in the zoo's marketing and um yeah if there's video footage of this incident, I'm going to need to see it.