right now

My family is my everything.


And as the years have passed and the "survival fog" has officially lifted - it has become so abundantly clear that the most important thing I can do for my children is to teach them about Jesus and his everlasting arms, love and grace.


I recently read in my "Jesus Calling" devotion {which if you don't have - go buy one TODAY} that ONLY when we see Jesus "face to face" will we be able to "experience fully how wide and long and high and deep His love is". It goes on to say "if you were to experience that now, you would be overwhelmed to the point of feeling crushed." I find so much comfort in those words.


I am just so undeserving of the blessings that have been given to me. Sometimes I find myself almost collapsing into prayer "thank you, Lord Jesus for these blessings. I cannot believe how much has been given to me."


And sometimes when my little blessings have whined for a straight ten hour period and my exhaustion level matches my lack of patience - I am not the mom I know I can be. There are moments when I find myself in tears and saying to myself "I had NO idea being a mom was going to be this hard."


and that's when the little voice in my heart reminds me "just try again tomorrow. you're doing the best you can."


and that's exactly what I do. And sometimes the next morning, over our bowls of cereal, I have to say, "mama should not have gotten so frustrated and shouted like that and I am so sorry. And you also need to tell me you're sorry for your behaviour and NONE of us are going to act like that today...mkay" and once the four apologies {from ALL the ladies of the house} are said, we move on.


and we go back to enjoying the things that matter most in life. like warm weather, empty parks....


and coca-colas. well one of us anyway - I personally gave them up for 2012. I've made it 65 days....but who's counting!?!


And my girls are changing. everyday. Just as I went through a nesting period before each one arrived, I have been going through a similar nesting period as we move into big girl world and kick the toddler phase to the curb. We have happily said goodbye to all things baby and found someone {pregnant with twins :)} who needed our baby items. No more cribs, no more diapers, no more swings, no more newborn to 2T clothes. it's all gone and I have lots of empty storage tubs to prove it. And by the way, moving to the big girl beds has been a very easy transition as it was with emma.


And I am so proud of Miss Thing that I could just about burst lately. This has been such a great year for her and I think holding her back was one of the best decisions that we have ever made. For the first time in her life, she is not playing catch up with children who are almost a year older. For the first time in her life, SHE is the leader and with that has come confidence.


My favorite story lately came from one of my neighborhood friends who also works at the preschool and knows my children really well and how extrememly timid each one can be. When I was picking the little girls up the other day, she stopped me and said, "I was up at elementary school the other day and I saw Emma in the hallway and SHE came up to me to say "hello" She went onto say, "that was the most confident that I have ever seen emma. I went home and thought about all day. It just completely made my day." and so I told her that she had just made mine by sharing that with me.



And I'm so proud of my piggy-tail wearin', big girl bed sleepin' big girls.


I still call them my babies though and they always say, "mamaaaaa.....I not a baby. I big gurl." duly noted.


and they may not be babies but they ARE hilarious!




And these big gurls sure do love their big brother....errr....I mean cousin. tomato - tomaHto.


I wanted to take them to the zoo but forgot my wallet at home so the very beautiful but very FREE BOTANTICAL GARDENS it was and I got a lot of looks and one girl said {very excitedly} "oh my word....is it???....is it????"and I really wanted to say to her - girlfriend just breathe through it and spit it on out and she ended with "I mean are they triplets with two identical ones?!?" and I patted his head and said "this is actually my brother's son and isn't mine" but once the words left my mouth I realized I had just lied to her because he DOES in fact belong to me. I have vowed to never say that again but just reply..."actually he is just nine and half months older than the girls and yes, they are ALL mine!".


I love this child. I love him a lot. And I get a day with his younger brother in T-minus 20 days but again who's counting!! the girls are a tad bit excited as we talk about it EVERY day.


when you live in polly, polly princess world everyday...having a boy around is really fun :)


I wonder if they even realize how wonderful it is to have cousins that are your best friends. If they don't quite understand it yet - they will later in life. I am sure of it.


because these are boo-boo kissing/beat your boyfriend up type of cousins!


who also play ring-around-the-rosie!!





Thank you God for moments like these. "I cannot believe how much has been given to me." Amen.